When I started using Zoom and Microsoft Teams for college classes and work meetings, I never thought one day I would get married using that very same technology. Yes, I was married via video with my husband and me sitting in entirely different countries. It was weird, to say the least, but still meaningful. 

How did that work or be possible? Thanks to the state of Utah. 

I first heard about this option of getting married online from some people in a Facebook group I was a member of that helps others with the visa process. I found out that in January 2020 Utah launched the online marriage application system. This started for just Utah residents who were able to apply for their marriage licenses, pay, and check their IDs all virtually. 

In March 2020, the pandemic went into full effect and more and more people started using the virtual system. Once we got to November 2020, Utah became the first state to allow virtual or “Zoom” weddings, not only to people in the state of Utah but throughout the entire country and world. They started allowing this so couples could get married while travel was restricted due to COVID-19. It also was to allow couples to get married who could not legally get married in their home country (such as for same-sex couples). 

For this virtual marriage to be legal there are a few rules. The officiant needs to be physically in the state of Utah. Both members of the couple and two witnesses need to be live on the video. The officiant also needs to verify the IDs of the couple to check their name and birthdate. Also, if the couple is physically located in different places the marriage is considered a proxy marriage, they need to be physically in the same place to “consummate” the marriage either during or after for it to be legal to apply for a US visa.

This type of wedding intrigued me as it was unlikely for my then fiancé to be granted a visitor visa to be able to travel to the US to get married here. Getting married in his country is a long and somewhat complicated process, I do not receive enough vacation time to be able to get married there so that was not a good option for us either. 

I had read about others in the Facebook groups who had gotten married that way, and they stated they had successfully used it to get a spouse visa. I spoke with my then fiancé and we decided this is the best option for us.

I ended up using a website called Courtly for our marriage. They provide officiants that perform your marriage (7 days a week) and register your marriage after the ceremony. There is a fee (of course) but it was not too much. You can register directly through Utah County for the ceremony, but I do not believe they perform ceremonies on the weekends. For me, I wanted to get married on the weekend so I could save my vacation time, so it was worth the charge. 

The process was pretty simple. I made an account and then you can let them know your preferences for your ceremony (if you want it to be religious or not, have a ring “exchange”, etc. Then once I paid Courtly and it was within 30 days of the wedding, I followed a link they provided to get our marriage license. I was able to do this all online which was great. There was a process to check both my and my then fiancé’s IDs which was not too difficult. You just had to show your ID and take a selfie and their software compared them. 

I uploaded our marriage license to Courtly and after they processed it I was able to schedule my day and time for the wedding! I had no issue getting the day and time I wanted. Once it got close to the wedding day I received an email letting me know our officiant’s name and a link to get into the ceremony. I sent that link to my then fiancé, my dad and stepmom, and my friend who was going to be a witness. It was nice there was not a software you had to download for the video link, it was all on their website. 

We finally got to the day of the wedding, Sunday, October 6, 2024! We were able to log in about 5 minutes before the ceremony. My husband was looking very handsome (if I did say so myself). He was there with his mom, and my mom and stepdad were in the room with me. 

I first had to show my ID to the officiant so she could verify my ID and check my birthdate (to check my age). Then my husband showed his. I felt bad that he had a hard time with his camera, it didn’t want to focus right to show his passport clearly. But we finally got it and had the ceremony.

The ceremony was really short, the officiant had a little speech. Then we said our own written vows. I loved his vows and it was really special to say mine to him. We virtually “exchanged” rings, said our I do’s, and then were officially married! After the ceremony, we were able to stay on the video for a bit longer to talk. 

What was very odd though was after the ceremony I was not there with my then-husband. That part was a bit hard to not be able to celebrate getting married together. We did text for a little after, but then I went out to lunch with my mom and stepdad.

Within a day I received our marriage certificate PDF via email. On the certificate is the Official Utah County Titan Seal with a QR code to verify the digital PDF version of the Marriage Certificate. A week or so later I also received a paper copy in the mail. We also requested Apostille copies so we could register our marriage in his country, and those took about a month to receive.

To make our marriage legal for starting the visa process, my husband and I met in a third country about 10 days after the ceremony. It also served as our honeymoon (the first of two we might have). We had a lovely time together.

I do not regret getting married online. It was what worked the best for us with our circumstances. It was hard though being married, not having my husband here, and then going to a relative’s wedding and celebrating knowing I did not have that experience. But, I keep reminding myself that once he gets here we will plan our own second ceremony and reception to celebrate with friends and family and have our own traditional wedding. It’s just hard waiting for that time to come.