I recall a long time ago I went to see a psychic and she read my palm. She looked at my love line and said something to the effect of how I would find the love of my life and it would be a great relationship, but it would be a bit later in life. I am not the type to believe in psychics (even though I would end up visiting another one a couple of times for fun), but I remember believing this person.
Fast forward, I found myself 39 years old, still single, and without ever having had a relationship under my belt. There were numerous reasons for this, mostly tied to my self-esteem at being plus sized. In any case, at this point I had found myself in a bit of a situationship/friends with benefits that was steadily going downhill.
For a couple of years before this time I had been on and off a few dating sites with no luck besides a handful of first dates, and felt pretty low with no hope of anything changing in this department. My situationship bottomed out on a Wednesday in August after work and I decided the next day I was going to send what was basically a goodbye text. I was going to tell him how I had been feeling; that he had been a crappy friend, expecting that to be the end of the relationship.
That same Wednesday, later in the evening, I received a message from one of the dating apps I had listed myself on. I had not been really active on any of them for a bit, had been taking a break but since it was free to keep myself on that one I had not deactivated myself. I looked at the email and the guy looked really cute, almost too cute. On his profile he did not have much information, just a couple of sentences and I saw he was a bit younger than me, 33 to my 39. He was also listed as living in another country across the ocean. I recall my initial thought being “he must be a scammer.”
I had had a lot of scammers contact me from this particular dating site, profiles with stolen pictures, very weird conversations, and those just looking for sexual chats. For some reason though I decided to give him a chance. I sent him my WhatsApp number (a Google Voice number) and he messaged me right away. We ended up having a really great text exchange the rest of the night. He was curious about me, asking numerous questions. I also found out he liked cats (which I do too), and he had a couple of them that he called his children. That night I went to sleep cautiously optimistic and hoping we would be able to continue our conversation the next day.
Thursday and Friday we continued texting back and forth throughout the day. I was really enjoying myself but still holding back as I was uncertain if he was who he said he was, if his picture was real. Not that what he looked like was the most important thing, but I wanted him to be telling the truth.
Once I was home from work on Friday, I decided it was time for the next test, and I asked him to video chat. In the past, if the other person was hesitant to video chat or came back with a bunch of excuses that was my sign to be extremely cautious going forward, the guy was most likely not who he said he was. To my surprise this guy agreed easily. Next thing I know he was calling me. I answered, very nervously, and my first thought was “oh my gosh, it is him!” He was exactly who he was from his picture, his hair was just natural instead of bleached like in his profile picture. He was sitting outside at a café, so I could hear street noise. Unfortunately, his internet connect was spotty but we were able to chat for a little.
After our short video chat I was so excited, everything seemed to be going well so far. Due to my history though, and just protecting myself, I was still very cautious about not letting myself get too caught up in the romance of it. We have all heard about so many scams, of guys preying on woman to be able to come to the US. Especially guys preying on older women and plus size women of which I am both in this situation.
However, long story short, after two weeks we were officially in a relationship and after a month I had booked plane tickets to visit him in his country (seven months out). Meeting in person was nerve-wracking at first but as soon as we were together, I felt so comfortable. Halfway through the trip he proposed, and I accepted. It felt a little crazy but right. Six months later we were married online (available through the State of Utah) and then met up in a different country we could both visit without needing a visa for an almost two-week honeymoon. Meeting together in person after the wedding was also necessary so the marriage is legal for starting the spouse visa process which I did as soon as I got home. Unfortunately, we are still waiting for the visa, we are hoping he will be able to move here to me in 2025.
Now, after just recently turning 41, it is amazing to look back at how much my life has changed in the last almost year and a half. It really feels like that psychic was right, I found the love of my life, it just happened to be a little later in life. Before I met him, I was really starting to feel I would never meet someone I was compatible with and who would love me just as I am. But I ended up meeting someone who loves me so much; he shows it with his words, actions, and how he acts around me when we are together. Our path has some extra challenges being from different countries, cultures, languages, and having to be in a long-distance relationship, but we have said a few times now, one day we will be able to look back and say our journey was hard, but we made it through together.
Our relationship is not perfect of course. We have our little disagreements and miscommunications (especially with English not being his first language and me not speaking his first language) but are able to talk through everything and apologize when needed. Being basically my first relationship and his second, it has been a bit of a learning curve working through normal relationship situations (as normal as it can be long-distance) but I have been happy with how we have worked together.
I am so glad I took a chance when he messaged me. If I had not, I would have missed out on this wonderful man who makes me happier than I have ever been. I encourage everyone to take chances once in a while, you will never know when something will completely change the direction of your life, potentially for the better.
